Memories
by Himitsu Miko
Summary: Axel wanders the halls of Castle oblivion he can't help but play all the memories he’s ever shared with Roxas. Akuroku


**Title: **Memories

**Summary: **As Axel wanders the halls of Castle oblivion he cant' help but play all the memories he's ever shared with Roxas. Akuroku

**Warnings:** um...depressed/not mentally well Axel um.....I think that's it.

**Diclaimer:** I disclaim both KH chain of Memories and 2 depending on where you want to throw this fic. I also disclaim "Memories". "Memories" belongs to Within Temptation and Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney/Square Enix. Cause really, if I own the game, Roxy would never have left XD

**Word count: **953 (without lyrics)

**A/N: **I was just looking at AkuRoku icons, and upon seeing all of them had something about memories on them, I got the song stuck in my head and figured it fit perfectly. And I had noticed how most people write from Roxy's POV and not Axy's. So, I'm writing from Axy's dammit! ^^ Happy Valentines Day! enjoy R&R

**Memories**

_In this world you tried  
_

_Not leaving me alone behind  
_

_There__'__s no other way  
_

_I prayed to the gods, let him stay  
_

_The memories ease the pain inside  
_

_Now I know why_

Walking through the halls of Castle Oblivion, Axel remembers all the things He and Roxas did. Every room he walked into, every step he took, triggered another memory that sometimes he wished would just leave. Roxas had tried to stay, Axel knew, but it just didn't work, he needed to know why he could weald the keyblade. He knew there'd be no answers within the Organization so he left. Axel tried to stop him, but it didn't work. And now the memories haunted Axel. Haunted his dreams, haunted his sight. Even during conversations with other Organization members he saw the memories in the corner of his eyes. It used to distract him from the conversation and turn to watch them but now he was used to it. He could drown out the sounds of the memories whispering in his ear. the pictures dancing on the edge of his vision. Of course, getting used to that isn't very good for combat but he needed it for his everyday life. He couldn't even set foot in Twilight Town and not be overwhelmed by the memories of the sea-salt ice cream sitting on the clock tower. And that one memory that haunts him the most. The one that ate at his soul even though he knew it was in no way even remotely related, that memory of when he had to leave Roxas alone on that roof-top to head back and pack for Castle Oblivion. He had left the poor blonde zombie alone to pack up so he could head out. Roxas didn't know anything and Axel had the nerve to leave him there. Yeah, he deserved to be haunted by the memory.

[Chorus:]

_All of my memories keep you near  
_

_In silent moments imagine you here  
_

_All of my memories keep you near  
_

_Your silent whispers, silent tears_

The memories of Roxas pulled Axel deeper and deeper everyday. Tugging him under. The Organization was starting to worry about his sanity for his constant obsession with the former thirteenth member. But they just didn't understand. Numbers eight and thirteen had a _bond_ Roxas had a heart, and at times, he'd share it with Axel, be it through words or actions, Axel knew it when he saw it. And it was addicting. Axel yearned for Roxas to be back, to share his heart with him again. To drown out these old memories, with newer, fresher ones. Ones that'd matter. Ones he'd love to see. Once he'd sit down and watch for hours, not the ones that pained him, reminded him that the blonde was gone. Not that these didn't matter, not that he didn't love to see these, not that he wouldn't sit down and watch these for hours. Cause these did matter and he did love them and watch them. He wanted to love the blonde. Why couldn't he have a heart to love the blonde? It was simple and innocent.

_Made me promise I__'__d try  
_

_To find my way back in this life  
_

_I hope there__'__s a way  
_

_To give me a sign you__'__re ok  
_

_Reminds me again it__'__s worth it all  
_

_So I can go on_

Axel tried so many times to see past and through these memories so that his life would be normal again. Or as normal as it could be without Roxas. He just hoped the blonde was doing okay, but of course he could see that was (wasn't?) the case when sent to find him. When he had forgotten the red head. That pained Axel the most. That their bond wasn't something deep enough to imprint on his heart, along with his brain, for he knew there'd be nothing in this world or any of the others that could possibly make Axel forget Roxas. Nothing. Every time he remembered that blank look on Roxy's face when he was trying to remember him, when he reminded him, again and again, that it was worth more than anything to remember if only for Roxas. If Roxas couldn't remember, the least Axel could do was remember for him. Remember all the laughs they had the few rare but precious smiles the blonde had shared. He needed to remember their bond, and maybe it'd come back. If not with Roxas, with Sora when they finally found each other and merged at last. He'd find a way to reunite the bond. Even if Roxas being in Sora meant they could love each other like Axel had hoped so long as he was with Roxas-no matter what form he's in. Axel would be happy. These are the reasons he'd force himself to bear through the pain of remembering all of this.

[Chorus]

_Together in all these memories  
_

_I see your smile  
_

_All the memories I hold dear  
_

_Darling, you know I will love you  
_

_Until the end of time_

Out of all the memories in all these halls and rooms, there were few when Roxas would smile. But the once or thrice that he did, Axel loved to watch the most, he'd go to the room, and sit there, watching smiling along with the blonde. Wishing he had a heart to show to the blonde like Roxy had done for him. But he didn't. No matter how hard he pushed on where it was supposed to be, desperate to find a beat there was none. None whatsoever and that just made the memories hurt more. How could the one with no heart remember them clear as day while the one that had a heart forgot them so easily? It hardly seemed fair to the red head who had curled in a ball, trying to ignore the memories, to wish them away. If Roxas forgot, surely he could, right? And if he forgot, life would be so much less painful...right? He'd never remember wanting a heart so badly, never remember wanting to love the teenager as only those whole give their heart fully can. If having a heart meant he was only to give it to Roxas and not call his own, to not own his own heart, he was fine with it, because Roxas _deserved_ two hearts, not just the single one beating in his heart; he needed one that'd care for him like no other could.

[Chorus]

_All of my memories_


End file.
